Psychiatrist Highlights Limerence as Key Indicator of BPD

A psychiatrist has recently gained significant attention on social media for his insights regarding a behavior known as “limerence,” which he claims can be a symptom of borderline personality disorder (BPD). In a TikTok video posted on October 21, 2025, Professor Ahmed Hankir explained how limerence often manifests as an intense, obsessive attachment to one person, which can be misinterpreted as infatuation or romantic obsession.

Limerence is characterized by an overwhelming fixation on someone, even if that individual is unavailable or indifferent. Professor Hankir noted, “They become the centre of your universe even if they are dismissive, abusive, or rude.” This behavior, he emphasized, represents one of the “least known but most painful” features of BPD, a condition affecting approximately 1.6% of adults in the United States according to conservative estimates.

Individuals experiencing limerence may grapple with intrusive thoughts about a specific relationship, experience emotional highs and lows, and face intense anxiety, sometimes leading to suicidal ideation. Professor Hankir urged anyone struggling with these symptoms to seek professional help.

Understanding Limerence and Its Impact

The psychiatrist’s video resonated with many viewers who identified with the symptoms he described. In the comments section, users shared their personal experiences relating to limerence and BPD, emphasizing the importance of awareness in managing the disorder. “Awareness is the first step toward healing,” one commenter stated, echoing the sentiments of others who have navigated similar challenges.

Hankir posed a poignant question to his audience: “Have you ever been so obsessed with someone that your entire world revolves around them, even when they ignore you or hurt you?” He explained that this intense attachment often arises from early emotional wounds, typically linked to inconsistent or emotionally absent caregivers. As adults, individuals with BPD may unconsciously seek out relationships that mirror these early experiences, perpetuating a cycle of emotional distance and unfulfilled longing.

The feelings associated with limerence can be all-consuming. Hankir described the phenomenon: “You idealize them, idolize them and put them on a pedestal. You crave their validation like oxygen, and even the smallest breadcrumb of attention feels euphoric.” This fixation can lead to a profound sense of emptiness when that validation is not reciprocated.

Pathways to Recovery

Despite the overwhelming nature of these feelings, Professor Hankir believes recovery is possible. He highlighted the effectiveness of dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) as a treatment option for those suffering from BPD. This therapeutic approach helps individuals learn to regulate their emotions and rebuild a healthy sense of self. “True healing starts when your world begins to revolve around you again,” he stated.

The TikTok video sparked a range of vulnerable responses from viewers, many of whom agreed that limerence is one of the most painful symptoms of BPD. Comments included reflections on personal struggles and the emotional toll of obsessive attachments. One viewer, who identified as having BPD, shared, “I agree this has got to be the worst, most painful thing to go through.”

Another commenter recounted a significant life experience related to limerence: “I got fired from a job over limerence… truly the most terrible lesson I had to learn.” These insights shed light on the real-world implications of such emotional struggles, illustrating the profound impact on both the individual experiencing limerence and those around them.

A particularly striking perspective was shared by a commenter who had been the object of a BPD sufferer’s obsession, describing it as “living with a stalker that you know can snap at any moment.” This highlights the serious consequences of unmanaged BPD symptoms, emphasizing the need for awareness and appropriate treatment.

As conversations around mental health continue to evolve, the insights shared by Professor Hankir may contribute to greater understanding and awareness of borderline personality disorder and its associated behaviors.